the care and feeding of ravenously hungry girls

The book The Care and Feeding of Ravenously Hungry Girls on top of a pale yellow tablecloth. To the left, a branch with small white flowers that slightly overlaps the book in its top left corner. To the right, a white and red scarf with small white …
 

Title & author

The Care and Feeding of Ravenously Hungry Girls by Anissa Gray

Synopsis

The novel follows three sisters, Althea, Lillian, and Viola, as they navigate their uprooted family and the new expectations and roles that come with disruption. Touching on mental health, the criminal justice system, and more, the novel tackles difficult issues facing women, particularly women of color, today. The three sisters seek ways to fill holes in their lives, and Gray’s journalist-style writing enables readers to see how these women and their children have been shaped by their parents (or lack thereof) and their parents’ upholding of societal expectations.

Who should read this book

Fans of An American Marriage

What we’re thinking about

How often, we as women, just want someone to listen

Trigger warning(s)

Physical violence, eating disorders, abandonment, sexism, mental health, racism, homophobia


The Butler sisters are hungry. They seek ways to fill the gaps in their lives and personas, gaps that have stayed with them since childhood. In Anissa Gray’s debut novel, The Care and Feeding of Ravenously Hungry Girls (Berkley, 2019), the sisters and their families attempt to address their cravings. But mostly, they attempt to distinguish cravings from needs.

The novel opens with Althea, the eldest sister, as she remembers her conversation with a chaplain when she first entered prison. “I used to think I was like a river,” she narrates. “A mighty force of nature. A real river that I used to watch and dip my feet in, sitting out on the dock behind my house” (Gray, 2). But now, Althea questions herself; she’s obsessed with comparing herself to other inmates, in a confused attempt to establish who she is in prison. The immediate introduction of her in this space is important, as it subsequently highlights her desperation for identity as central to the story’s narrative. 

Next is Lillian, the youngest of the siblings. In her opening chapter, she sits with one of Althea’s daughters as they wait for both Althea and her husband’s verdict in court. She whispers “safe” as she holds her niece, a coping mechanism that has stayed with her since she was a young girl (19). She possesses many roles through the story: younger sister, aunt, mother, and daughter-in-law. But as she looks back on her own life, it becomes clear she’s trying to make up for something by performing these roles, questioning her own identity, like Althea.

Finally comes Viola, the second sister. As she sits in her bedroom with her wife, she attempts to convince herself to drive to her hometown to join her sisters. And while she does leave, she heads to a motel instead. “I’ll feel better soon, though. Light as air again and there will be that soothing white noise. There will be at least a moment’s peace and calm before the crash into self-loathing,” and so she turns to boxes of fast food, eating as much as she can before heading into the bathroom to purge (37). 

Gray’s writing is matter-of-fact; in many ways, she appears to write from her journalist background. To an extent, this works for the novel. We are able to see the characters’ flaws and desires plainly, no poetic frills to cover their mistakes or make excuses for their behavior. There is no stringing the reader along, making us believe in a rebirth where there isn’t one. But mostly, it enables us to see how these women and their children have been shaped by their parents (or lack thereof) and their parents’ upholding of societal expectations.

The novel touches on an expansive list of experiences many women face due to society’s expectations: image, sexuality, motherhood, to name a few (her insight into eating disorders may especially resonate with some; Viola’s monologue while deciding what to eat at Thanksgiving gets to the heart of this). And it gives voice to issues women of color especially face, that are often overlooked: mental health, the failed criminal justice system, etc. 

The novel also takes another step forward to address how women can be both victims and the guilty in these experiences. “If I could, the first thing I’d do is try not to feel so sorry for you, try not to feel so guilty about the fact that I had something you didn’t have,” Lillian tells her brother. “I think I sacrificed my own self because of that, by staying quiet about how you treated me” (254). Lillian feels guilt for the relationship she and her father possessed, sacrificing her identity to make it up to her jealous brother. Althea has spent her entire life sacrificing her own livelihood to take care of others, but it lands her in jail. Viola’s eating disorder follows her, yet she can’t admit it to those she loves and forces them away.

Their actions are fueled by their desires, need to appease their victimhood. So what are these women hungry for?  

“Boys and men are earth and stone… but you girls, us women, we’re water,” Althea’s mom tells her when she is a little girl. “We can wear away earth and stone, if it comes to it.” (3) Perhaps it’s a bit random and omnipresent to address climate change, but it is hard not to, especially since the novel in many ways begins and ends with women and water. In today’s age, water needs—demands—our attention. And Gray’s novel, both in the three sisters and Althea’s daughters, demonstrates how each of these women more than anything need someone to listen. That, like water, perhaps what women truly need is someone for once, to actually take notice. To care about what they are going through and take some action.

 
A bookshelf with three shelves. Scattered amongst the shelves are black, white, and tan books, coffee mugs, and a vase.
And it was like everything that disturbed me when I climbed those stairs and opened that closet door rose up in the dust of decomposing carpet padding and disappeared out the open window in the hallway upstairs. It was sparkly and beautiful. But then the sun went down and the glow was gone.
— The Care and Feeding of Ravenously Hungry Girls, page 81

A graphic of a laptop, old fashioned telephone with a dial, and an envelope. Scattered around are small, gold stars.
 

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  1. What role does sisterhood play in this story? How do their differing narratives and POVs contribute to the story?

  2. How is Althea shaped by the women she meets in prison? What does her experience in this space suggest about how women, particularly women of color, are treated by our carceral system?

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